Carving Out Time: On Art, Guilt and Growth

JH: What do you think are the biggest hurdles that teachers face, which prevent them from pursuing their own creative projects alongside their teaching practice?

DM: For me the biggest obstacle is definitely time. We always say in teaching that we are time-poor. If there is time we are marking or planning. I have the feeling that I always need to be ‘teaching’ when I'm in the classroom and that there’s no time for my personal practice within that. There are moments when the students are really busy and confident in what they are doing, when I could leave them to get on with it and think about making my own artwork alongside them. But that’s when another obstacle presents itself: guilt. I would never allow myself to make work alongside them because of this received idea that when I'm in the classroom all my time and attention should be on the students, even when they don’t need it.

And it’s not just me who experiences this guilt, I think its common with other teachers too, and particularly with women. I remember joining an online workshop as part of the ARTISTEACHER network led by Freelands Foundation; one woman was sharing a beautiful book of her artwork and we were all saying, ‘this is great but when did you have time to do this?’ And she apologetically explained that she works on it during after-school intervention sessions and was quick to point out that she’d never work on it in class time. And that got the group thinking: well, why not? Why can't you do it in the classroom when the students are focused on a sustained piece of work? Why can’t we get our sketchbooks out and start doing what they're doing or make exemplars? Why can't we allow ourselves to do the work that they’re doing?

The teachers that I've spoken to since starting this residency always ask me where I find the time and so I explain that I'm doing it with my students in the classroom.

JH: So what impact do you think this has had on your students? What’s been the response to this new approach?

DM: I think it was a bit nerve-wracking for the students to begin with, but encouraging them to experiment, to make mistakes and work things out along the way has been a really special learning curve and they've responded brilliantly. They are really proud of the work I make and the fact that I’m an artist as well. I work with another photography teacher at Thomas Tallis, Jon Nicholls, and both he and I have exhibitions coming up and I think this knowledge gives the students confidence. They can trust in our advice because they know it's coming from a place where we have experience. And that mirrors my experience when I was at art school; I gravitated more towards the teachers that were working outside of the school because I trusted them.

JH: What do you think has been the most significant or memorable moment of this academic year?

DM: Gosh there's been so many I’m not sure I can really pick one. I think it's just the way that I've changed. I feel so much happier about my practice as both a teacher and an artist. I'm now so happy to come to work and I think that’s because it no longer seems like just teaching. It seems like I'm creating and I'm teaching at the same time.

I think that I've become much more open about my work and ambitions: I already want to start another project and I'm just about to start collaborating with someone else. These are things that I've wanted to do for ages and it’s helped kick start all of it. I'm happy to call myself an artist teacher now which is not something I would have done before because I didn’t really feel I was an artist, but that's only because I didn't make enough of my own work. Autograph’s Senior Curator, Bindi Vora, said something to me that will always stick with me: carve out time for yourself. It's advice that I'd give to any teacher.

JH: Vulnerability is something that has come up a lot throughout the residency. There's something profound about being vulnerable and this humanising aspect of sharing work in progress. Your willingness to take that leap and trust the people around you to hold that space is something that I’ve been so inspired by. Does that uncomfortable space now feel a bit more comfortable?

DM: Absolutely, I would feel much more confident about doing something like this again - in fact I’m about to start a new collaborative project so I will be doing it again! When Muholi was talking about their practice, I found it very inspiring to hear them describe how they made their self-portraits, despite feeling moments of vulnerability. They are a political activist and they were explaining that the work they make is not just for them, but for others like them. And I recognise the importance of representation – when I was of school age I remember wanting to learn more about artists from marginalised backgrounds. And now I’m a teacher, I want my students – and particularly the black girls in my classes – to see me as someone that's producing work.

JH: We’ve discussed this residency as almost providing an intervention in your practice as both artist and teacher. Is this process something you think would be of value for others in your professions?

DM: When I compare how I worked with students before the residency to now, I realise we should be teaching like this all the time. We should have time off to create bodies of work and share that process with our students. One thing that is abundantly clear to me now is the huge benefit to students of having a teacher working alongside them and creating work with them at Key Stages 4 and 5. My current classroom experience is exactly what teaching a creative subject should feel and be like.